The right solution isn't black or white
The this-or-that fallacy is what's keeping you trapped
This or that.
“Do this, not that.”
“If you choose this, then you can't have that.”
“This works better than that.”
...but this is not as simple as that.
If this was the case, then why isn't everyone doing the same thing and achieving that same level of success?
Just because it was right for others, it doesn't mean it's right for you.
Just because it was wrong for others, it doesn't mean it's wrong for you.
The solution isn't only black or white.
Yes, there are shades of grey in between.
And what you're not seeing is that you also have a whole spectrum of colors you can play with as well.
The basic reds, greens, blues...
The blends of purples, yellows, oranges, pinks...
The shades of ambers, magentas, lavenders, teals...
The nuances of chartreuse, eggshell, cerulean...
You have a whole box full of wonderous crayons to play with to create your desired business, relationship, lifestyle, or whatever you want.
In other words, you can create your own approach.
In reality, you have to.
Use what others have shared as a reference, but put together what feels right to you and discard what doesn't.
What they share isn’t the full picture.
Most marketing and sales tactics reduce things down to this limited set of options because this makes it easier to sell to you.
...but you are not limited to those choices.
Most marketing and sales tactics simplify the whole process, because that makes it less daunting for you to get started.
...but you're not starting on the same playing field because you have your own set of circumstances, tendencies, and perspectives.
I have fallen prey to this black-and-white mental trap.
That is why I've accumulated so much shelf help.
I have a large physical shelf of books.
I have an enormous digital "shelf" of files.
I have paid numerous coaches and experts to tell me what to do.
So how am I still "figuring out" this “right thing” to do to achieve that success I keep seeing others flaunt?
I kept searching externally, hoping "this is what will make the difference".
That just got me burned out.
The constant bombardment of "you're failing because you're not doing THIS" was stressing me out.
I am freaking trying, but all THAT "you're not doing enough" was bloody exhausting and draining.
So, not having “enough” knowledge isn’t the issue. (A simple Google search gives you endless answers.)
It's determining what works for YOU.
When you’re overcopying others…
Looking at how others were coloring their paper and copying what they're doing can only get you so far.
That means you have to keep looking at their stuff before you can create.
That means you're just turning yourself into a copy of them.
That means without them... would you know what to do next on your own?
When you outsource your thinking and decision-making capacities to others, you diminish your own empowerment as you turn them into your savior or codependent crutch.
Because only you can save yourself.
If you fail, it's not their life and consequences to bear.
It's yours.
My pivotal realizations
Crappitty crap crap, there's no one else to blame.
This is my own doing.
I let my excuses run wild. I believed in their this-or-that thinking.
I didn't believe in myself enough. I kept thinking they had the answers.
I didn't trust my inner guidance. I valued theirs over my own.
Here I am. I plopped down on the floor, surrounded by this massive mess of things I've tried.
I collected more crayons, paints, and pencils than I'll ever need.